Wednesday, May 19

Horror Story

The past two days have been the most horrible I've experienced in a long, long time. I've been looking for work recently, applying online and through the government jobcentre for work, sending out my cv/resume to folks, but not receiving many call backs. I started sending off speculative enquiry letters to local businesses asking for work who weren't even advertising! All to no avail, with the exception of a local residential care home whose Manager called me in twice for an interview!

I've been hired as a Carer!
So I'm so overjoyed, never having worked as a carer before, just really grateful for the opportunity and eager to get started. Unfortunately I had to wait until my Criminal Background Check was completed, in the mean time being so desperate to bring in an income, I still send out my CV, but still really looking forward to working at this care home. When given the tour of the place it seemed so wonderful, friendly staff, lovely residents, clean and up to scratch.

Nearly two months go by. Fast forward to last Thursday, my head is bowed and I'm praying to God for a job break through, when the phone rings! I'm asked if I could start the care home night-shift on Sunday night! Yippy. Finally, I'm saying to myself, yes indeed I'm saying to the manager. The hours to work are from 9:15pm to 7:30am.

My husband's so cute, he's showering me congrats, but at the same time saying how much he's going to miss me overnight. And I him, but really looking forward to working and doing a job that I feel I'm called for, caring for other people who can't care for themselves. I don't mind that it's the midnight shift, I don't mind that it pays minimum wage. I don't care that I have college degrees suited for a different field. I'm at that age (38) where I now want to do what gives me personal joy. I've had lots of different jobs in my life, from being a death certificate issuer in NYC, (super busy job), to selling shoes at Payless, (constantly having to run off the local foot fetish shoe sniffers when customers who removed their shoes to try on new ones found their old ones missing). I worked at a Theological Seminary library, putting Mylar protection over books and papers from 17th century, I've been a church secretary, I've been a top seller of Coco Chanel high priced items at world famous Bloomingdales. I could go on and on. A lot of my previous jobs were to bide my time, to get to somewhere else, or to make lots of money. I'm done with those reasons now. 

I'm super excited about helping the elderly, turned up nice and early, said goodbye to the massive day staff who told me all residents where in bed. It was just me and the one carer I was to shadow while she showed me the ropes. She was such a doll, but the whole ten hours I only got to sit down and rest for 10 minutes! If I told you all that I had to do, I could write a book!! So would you mind a poem?

Upstairs, downstairs, changing diapers, making tea.
Scrubbing bathrooms, vacuuming carpets, polishing tables, mopping up pee.
Washing laundry, folding clothing, ironing sheets, tripping over the cat.
Cleaning the kitchen, taking out garbage,  my ankles are killing me, never felt so fat.
Trying to stop R from whipping out his willy, trying to stops M from ripping off her clothes.
Checking that everyone’s breathing every two hours, reminding myself this is the job that I chose!
I lost my voice, I'm sweating bullets, getting the rooms confused, in need of a map,
The call-bells ringing, running to help, told next week I'm on my own,
Oh she shouldn't have said that!

I made it through the shift, but I was a complete and utter mess!! My husband had to drive me home after my shift because I could not physically walk the short distance home. I fell on my bed crying  and was in dire pain. I was emotionally drained and my spirit was broken. It took me till now to recover, and this morning, being totally torn up inside, I had to inform the manager that I would not be returning. She said she totally understood.

Why is it that good intentions sometimes turn out bad? Why did I have to feel so full of joy in getting this job, thanking God for His blessing, but it turned out to be a horror? I have nightmares now, I feel like a failure now, and I'm back to being jobless!!


I'm back to sending off CVs/resumes again today. I can't stay sad, I have to pick up and carry on, I will survive, and all those other good songs from the 70's. heehee. Thanks for allowing me to share with you. I'll be fine, God is good, He'll sort me out.


Uma Preve said...

Hi Eve, I am so sorry to hear about the job. God has mysterious ways of showing people the best and worse of life. I really hope you get a better job. Keep putting things to prayer. I am sure you will be blessed. Stay strong! God bless you always dear.

messyfish said...

Hey at least you know your own limits now! It's great you can honour yourself and take care of you by not forcing yourself to do that job. Clearly something better is round the corner for you. When one door closes sometimes we have to stand in the corridor for a while xxx

Eve said...

Hi Uma,
Thank you for encouragement, God does work in mysterious ways, you said a mouth full there :D

Hi Messyfish,
Thank you for your encouragement. It's funny you mention knowing my limits, my husband had to keep reminding me of them as I was wishy washy. But I know I made the best decision now. Just gonna hang out here in the corridor for a bit. heehee. I love that!

Meredith said...

WoW, girl! That was really an experience, eh?
Trust that God knows what He's doing. He's an expert at working things out where you don't see anything but the end result :)
Stay encouraged!


Eve said...

Thank you Meredith, I will try to stay encouraged while reading these "unfortunately you haven't been choosen this time" letters :D Still holding strong.

Sarah-Jane - said...

Oh Eve - care homes certainley aren't for the faint hearted. I know from a friend who worked in one for a few years that they seriously STRUGGLE to keep staff.

Abused by in-mates, overworked, seriously understaffed etc...

They're called CARE homes - but in most, I don't believe these elderly get as much care as they require. :-(

Big hugs x

Eve said...

Hi Sarah-Jane,
The funny thing is, I'm not faint hearted. I can really deal with all different situations, just not overloaded with a lot of everything. :) if that makes sense.

Now that you've mentioned it, I did wonder why a lot of the staff was new, and the manager didn't seem to mind that I said I wasn't coming back. Like it was a common thing. You are right, a lot of places I think don't give the residents all the care that they need and deserve. What a shame, a lot of us are destined for these homes.

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